“We are skateboarders” – the belief that no matter where we are from, what our gender, orientation or how we identify, we all just skate. The reality is sadly untrue. The media coverage, brands, sponsors, and the money supporting select (mainly cis, hetero men) skateboarders directly influences people’s vision and choices on who and how you should be in skateboarding. I am a transwoman skateboarder and I wanted to share some personal experiences on this issue and shed some light on the realities faced as a female transgender competitive athlete.
Words: Paige Krämer
Shots: Arianne Bergeron
Feeling deeply compelled, I stepped back onto a skateboard at the prime age of 40 during the summer of 2015, after a 15-year sabbatical and three years after I began my physical transition from male to female. Arriving at my local skatepark, I felt alone, old, intimidated and terrified amongst all the male riders. These feelings were not new to me. At a much younger age (pre-transition), I didn’t identify with any of the male riders or crews – I skateboarded alone. During those years trans-identities were never discussed openly or seen in the media and when they were, it was next-to ridiculed. Had I been exposed to positive images or role models at that young age, it would have completely changed my life and the way I viewed myself.
I would have felt better about who I was knowing that
I wasn’t alone and I probably would have never stopped skateboarding.
Fortunately for me, during the summer of 2015 I discovered Les Vagabonnes, an all-girls skateboarding crew in Montreal, Canada. When these amazing women welcomed me into the group I experienced something that I had never felt before, a sense of belonging within the skateboarding community. I also knew that, as female skateboarders, they understood the being treated as less significant, feeling alienated and discriminated against (albeit with slight variances). Because of my past experience riding, my style and unique trickset, I earned a certain respect amongst other skateboarders, but it also attracted attention.
Fearful of transphobia and being thrown out of Les Vagabonnes, I avoided discussing my past and my transition because of my cis-passing* privilege. On the other side, I was terrified because I knew all the major male shredders in the Montreal area, having skated the same spots many years ago, not because I was ashamed of who I was, but for the verbal and physical violence they could have unleashed upon me. With time my new found friends in Les Vagabonnes gained my trust; I slowly opened up about my past and it didn’t take long for the local skate gossip to spread.
That is when I began being marginalized within an already marginalized group. Aside from the hate, repulsion and incomprehension some people had towards trans-identified people, many preferred simply keeping their distance and letting me skate with my new found friends. I began competing in amateur female skateboarding competitions, but the transphobia became even more apparent, even crippling. The most frequent opinion held by the industry-heads was that I had an unfair advantage over cis-female skateboarders which should void my right to compete in any female category or event and made it near impossible to find sponsors. Simply put, they didn’t consider me to be ‘really female’.
Saying that transwomen are not truly woman denies a person’s true identity and amounts to saying men are the superior gender, hence the word “advantage”. Fortunately today, female skateboarders and all the LGBTQIA2 skateboarding communities are proving that the true measurement of skateboarding abilities is the time and energy invested in practicing, along with the important support of sponsors, and not strength or skill-level out of context. It was clear to me that some education on the subject of trans-athletes was (and still is) needed. The purpose of this piece is not to create labels or to segregate, but to help skateboarders understand the realities of a person transitioning from an assigned male gender to a female gender, and dismantle the most common question people have towards transgender female athletes: “Do transgender woman athletes have an unfair advantage over cis-female** athletes?” So here’s the reality behind hormone therapy (HRT) for those who transition physically from male to female. Note the word “physically”, as transwoman are psychologically female at birth:
A second puberty: Remember how difficult your first puberty was? HRT causes a person to go through a second puberty that can take several years to complete. The older a person is, the greater the shock to the body and brain as they have become more accustomed to the effects of high levels of testosterone – I was 37.
Testosterone and estrogen – its effects: It is well known that testosterone helps build muscle-mass and increases strength which is beneficial to all athletes. The loss of muscle-mass when taking testosterone blockers and increasing estrogen levels in the body is fast and drastic. The body becomes less resistant to the wear and tear, falls and impacts of skateboarding. There is also a redistribution of body fat and breast tissue growth that requires some adaptations to movement, stance and balance.
Psychological and emotional changes: These changes are often overlooked when it comes to understanding the changes a transgender person undergoes. As any woman can testify, an influx of estrogen in the body and brain, affects us emotionally and causes us to experience life in a highly sensitive way. This hormonal change is not a bad thing of course, it is actually welcomed and aligns the mind with the body. However, it takes time to get used to the emotional roller coaster rides of transitioning. This, plus stigmatisation caused by bigotry, religious beliefs, and sexist expectations can cause the trans-identified person an enormous amount of anxiety and often depression.
Surgeries: Recovery from surgery – if a person can or choses to undergo it – is long and difficult. It also means a physical re-adaptation and another period of hormonal rebalancing as the body has a better estrogen absorption and no longer produces high levels of testosterone. These new changes actually cause transwomen to produce lower levels of testosterone than the majority of cis-gender*** women.
So there we have it. To be honest the only ‘advantage’ I feel I have today, being a transgender woman, is the feeling of being comfortable and at peace with who I truly am and finally living my life. Skateboarding and the friends that I made helped me through the most difficult times of my life and helped me find my personal joy and happiness. Isn’t that what truly matters in the end? I sincerely hope that this article will give a deeper understanding of the realities transwoman athletes face and that my experience will influence the younger (and older) trans-identified generation in a positive way. We are quickly coming to a time where there will exist major non-binary**** skateboarding competitions but until then we can unite and truly become ‘just another skater’.
*Cis-passing: To not be perceived as transgender but the gender identified with.
**Cis-female: One assigned female at birth and whose gender identity is female.
***Cis-gender: A person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their assigned gender at birth.
****Non-binary: Gender identity that is neither exclusively masculine nor feminine.
