A few days before the launch of her latest exhibition ‘Through The Fog‘ at Thames-Side Studios, we caught up with Eloise Dörr, where she gave us an insight into how this exhibition came about, her experience with Depersonalisation/Derealisation (DP/DR) disorder, how skateboarding helps with her mental health as well as how she uses art rather than words, in order to express her experiences.
Your exhibition ‘Through The Fog’ launches this week at Thames-Side Studios, the show explores your experiences with Depersonalisation/Derealisation Disorder and how skateboarding came to be a part of this journey. Can you give us some insight into how this exhibition came about?
This exhibition concept has been in the back of my mind for a few years now. Skateboarding has always been the central theme of my work since I first began, and has always been the subject of my previous exhibitions, but I very rarely touch on my experience with chronic DP/DR even though the 2 are so intertwined for me. I think things come up when we’re ready and when I was offered this exhibition it felt like this was my chance to break that barrier and vocalise this concept that has been brewing for a few years now.
For those of us who aren’t familiar, what is Depersonalisation/Derealisation (DP/DR) disorder?
DP/DR disorder is a dissociative disorder where your mind views yourself or the world as ‘unreal’. Symptoms and causes differ hugely person to person, I personally have very physical symptoms like hyper-sensitivity to light and sound, and as if my vision is through a screen (kind of like Peep-Show haha!). The general theme is detachment from reality/your body. Trauma or emotional distress are common causes; your mind can trigger DP/DR as a form of self-preservation as it may deem your body/reality as ‘unsafe’ thus removing yourself from it. It’s very fascinating, I think! There’s debate around whether DP/DR is a disorder, a condition, or a symptom and it has yet to be decided; I personally just switch between the 3 depending on the context.
How did skateboarding help your mental health personally?
When I first started, skateboarding became a huge coping mechanism and, I didn’t realise until recently, an embodiment method. I started skating around a year after I had to quit my A-Levels because of my DP/DR symptoms. I was in a bit of a void for that first year where I had no direction or idea how to navigate the world with a chronic illness and no qualifications. When I discovered skateboarding it gave purpose to the day and some drive, to even just have something to do and to have a goal-oriented activity was life changing in those early days. My symptoms being of the dissociative nature it was also so important for me to have an activity where I had to be present in myself. I found it hard to dissociate from reality if I was falling on concrete [laughs]. 10 years has passed since those early days and my life looks a lot different now (in a great way!) but skateboarding still holds that same purpose for me in many ways!
Do you think it’s easier to express our mental health experiences through art rather than words?
Part of the reason I never really spoke about my disorder is because it’s so hard to explain. When I’ve attempted to explain the symptoms in the past I’ve been met with some weird looks, and if you haven’t experienced it it really is impossible to imagine what it’s like. I hadn’t explored trying to depict the symptoms through my art much before this exhibition, it’s been challenging but it’s also been extremely cathartic. So yes, I think for me DP/DR is much easier to depict visually rather than with words!
What do you hope people will learn from this exhibition?
With this exhibition my main aims were to raise awareness of the condition and for other DP/DR folk to feel seen and understood. Awareness, research and clinical studies are so few and far between, most GP’s and even therapists haven’t even heard of it. It is thought that 75% of the population will experience it at some point in their lives even for a brief moment, and 1% of the adult population experience it chronically like I do, demand and supply for treatment has a very wide gap. Just on the social side of things I felt like I didn’t want to contribute to the lack of awareness anymore by never talking about it, so that’s my plan with this show! The more of us that mention it and the more noise we make the better in the long run, baby steps!
I would highly recommend checking out Unreal charity at www.unrealuk.org to learn more about the DP/DR and see the amazing work they’re doing to raise awareness and lower the stigma!
‘Through The Fog’ launches at The Viewing Room, Unit 8, Thames-Side Studios, Woolwich, London, SE18 5NR on Saturday 2nd April. Make your way down from 6-9pm for a first look at the show and refreshments.
