It seems strange, almost sacrilegious, to be writing about how to not always be skateboarding. But somehow the act of not skateboarding has become oddly stigmatised in our community. The terribly overused catchphrase “shut up and skate” has bred a widespread attitude of ‘if you didn’t skate yesterday, I don’t wanna know about it.’There’s an expectation, maybe especially felt by those who don’t identify as cis-male, that you need to be skateboarding all the time in order to prove that you’re a serious skateboarder (whatever that means).In a time where we are more aware of mental health issues in our community than ever it’s so important to normalize the fact that having off board days doesn’t make you any less of a skateboarder and is sometimes necessary in order to reset your mind and give your body the time to rest that it needs. The reality is that we are skateboarders but we are so much more than that.I reached out to a few familiar rippers to talk creative outlets, mental health and the meaning behind wearing dirty old cuffed beanies. Stick around and get comfortable as we begin a long overdue real talk with wise words from two all-time favourites Sarah Meurle and Helena Long.
Interview by Maria Lima | Photos courtesy of Sarah Meurle and Helena Long
Do you ever feel a responsibility or obligation to always be skateboarding? If so, why do you think that is and what are some ways to push against the pressure of always having to be productive?
Helena: I feel the pressure comes from myself mostly. I grew up skating with a bunch of guys and we all started around the same time, but being female and one of only a handful in the country at the time, I quite quickly got connected with sponsorship, getting some free shoes and bits and pieces. I was very aware that this wasn’t necessarily down to my ability, but to do with the fact that I was a girl/woman. I mean, I was progressing alongside my guy mates as much as I could and they were at the same level if not better – so why weren’t they getting hooked up? None the less my friends were forever supportive and it made me want to continue pushing myself because I wanted to prove that I could learn more, progress and that I was more than an average skater that happened to be female. But also the feeling and adrenaline of learning new tricks had me hooked. I definitely felt at times an obligation but I have a pretty determined and obsessive side that this scenario helped feed. Other hobbies and different friend groups also meant that I would have other priorities that took me away from skateboarding – this would always be a excuse for a break, mentally and physically and of course there were many injuries that would put me out from skateboarding too.
Sarah: If I’ve been injured for a while and I’m trying to get back on my board I can struggle with the guilt that I should be doing everything in my power to get back on it. The feeling of having less board control or being in pain after skating can definitely put my motivation off. With that lack of motivation comes guilt. Now when I’m not full-time studying or working I have more time to deal with injuries and to take care of myself and my physics. Although for me it’s really important to do other things than just skate-related things.
“There’s always going to be a feeling of not being good or deserving enough but I try to think about how I can apply my existing skateboarding skills and ability in a more creative way.”
I tried the skating full-time life when I was 19 living in Barcelona, living off some money I had saved up. I realized having 100% of skating in my life became too much for me so I moved back after 6 months. I liked the mix of having studies or a job on the side, it gave me more motivation to skate if I had a tighter schedule.I don’t have a recipe for not feeling guilty, but in general I think if you’re doing things that you know are good for you in the long run, and that makes you feel fulfilled like working on your physics/ mental health/ friendships you have no reason to feel guilty.
The topic of not skating and the feeling of guilt is obviously something I’ve been struggling with too. You get a lot of awkward comments and questions when you’re not skateboarding, even if you do it for mental health reasons or simply to let your body recover from an injury. It’s like people think you’re not a “real skateboarder” if you don’t do it every day. At the same time there are very few people in the community that I can discuss non-skateboarding related topics with. It’s like the moment you step into the skatepark you can’t talk politics, arts or just nerdy things that aren’t nerdy in the hardcore skate way.
It can be hard to exist in a community that only seems to care about or accept one part of your identity, I think. At least for me, it meant that I left skateboarding for a while to find different communities where I could explore other parts of my identity.
Sarah: I definitely agree with you that existing in a community that only accepts one part of your identity is something I’ve struggled with. I have felt that I needed to break free from skateboarding being my identity and find my own identity.
On that note, could you share some thoughts on your experiences with overcoming the fear of not being good enough or not being the “right kind” of skateboarder? What role do you think social media plays in this?
Helena: There’s always going to be a feeling of not being good or deserving enough but I try to think about how I can apply my existing skateboarding skills and ability in a more creative way. But I also have to remind myself that other than skateboarding ability, there’s everything else like style, clothes you wear, personality, music, where you skate, what you skate and who you skate with etc. These factors all play into a persona that you can present via social media videos and photos and that’s what some people or brands are hyped on and not just one’s ability.
Sarah: As I first found skateboarding in 2003 I became (as most do) obsessed and me and my group of friends all tried to mimic the ”rules” of skateboarding from the videos we saw and the older skaters in the big city. It could be a tough climate at times. I was shy around new people, and I often didn’t speak much when I was skating, I would talk to one friend who would kind of talk for me. I didn’t want it to be like that, but my skating became my way of expressing myself. I knew I was liked and accepted because I skated well, so I had a high self-esteem skating wise, but when it came to my own persona I had a low self-esteem since I was no longer in that group where I felt comfortable, I was in new places where I met new people through skateboarding, and I held myself back. Sometimes that barrier would break through and I’d meet someone whom I felt seen and liked by in other ways, that was rare and I held on to those people.
I don’t really know what is the ”right kind” of skateboarder, but I think for me not taking the path of doing a lot of contests and trying to live off of skateboarding, but having a job or studies on the side helped to reduce some of those expectations and pressure that didn’t feel right. Pressure can be good and motivating, but you can feel the difference when it tips over if you listen to yourself.
The broadening and additions to our community, the sub-sub cultures, and the motivation and that there is someone for everyone out there to relate to and be inspired by is made a hundred times easier by social media. That is a great thing. The negative thing is that it makes it easier for us to constantly compare ourselves to others. To like or not to like, that is the question.
What are some tools beside skateboarding that you use for self expression? And do you think these other creative outlets inform and inspire your skateboarding? Why is it important for you to have non-board related things in your life?
Helena: When I’m not skateboarding I play the drums, love going to the cinema, exhibitions and doing my own drawings/illustrations when and where possible. All of these outlets inform aspects of my skateboarding such as the boards I ride, graphics I prefer, clothing style, music I make, skate edits I do etc. But more than that there’s more fun to be had and a relief in the idea that physically when I can’t skate or don’t feel my best for it, I’ll always have something else to do, things that’ll keep me ticking over. Never bored. Amongst the above, I have to work to get by so there’s that keeping me going on top of it all – I secretly love working too (maybe not that secretly).
Sarah, I’ve noticed that your art practice seems to be informed by skateboarding even if this is unintentional. Some of your work leans towards abstraction in the way it examines how objects transform and become estranged when being put into a different context. You pay such close attention to detail, texture and surface. It’s kind of like when you skate a new spot and analyse every single aspect of it; the ground, the angles etc. to make it work with the trick you have in mind.
Sarah: I suppose you’re right, I have learnt to pay attention to cracks in the ground, materials and structures, light falling through a space. It’s a way of playing with what is around and different perspectives. I am also just inspired by photography itself, on what light and shapes can do.
“I wanted to separate my art from skateboarding, and I felt really strongly about that.”
Six years ago I applied for a pre-educational art school and that was my way of looking outside of my bubble, meeting people in a different way and that year I was able to express emotions and issues concerning family, growing up, being a woman, etc. – deeply personal things and that was okay because nearly everyone else in the class did it as well. After trying out different ways of expressing myself through photography I ended up with being very drawn to abstraction. After that year I applied to do a bachelor in fine art photography in Gothenburg and it was very important for me to apply with things that weren’t related to skateboarding. I wanted to separate my art from skateboarding, and I felt really strongly about that. I still do, but I also realize that if I can do it my way, it is possible for me to feel good about it. There will always be similarities that can be drawn to my background, but it can be found in the process, or the way I look at things rather than the subject of skateboarding.
I do get really motivated skating something I think is aesthetically nice looking, or feels different from what everyone else is doing. Like being on tour and getting to a spot I usually end up skating something else next to the actual spot. Like, a big concrete ball or some strange sculptures.
Besides from art, music inspires me, I don’t play music myself but the listening part of it is really important in my life, as to most people I assume!
Having non-board related things and people in your life makes your life more interesting. I’d say it’s a lot about your local community as well. If you’re super lucky you might feel fulfilled with the skaters around you, but in most cases it is not that diverse. And you might not even see the things that are messed up in your community if you have never been part of a different one.
Do you wanna talk a bit about navigating being a part of the Gothenburg art scene, having (or making) time to develop your art practice as well as balancing this with your skateboarding life? How has being a visual artist contributed to your life in ways skateboarding haven’t or rather how do they compliment each other?
Sarah: I had a difficult time when I graduated about a year and a half ago, since the art scene that I had gotten to know here was very based on my classmates and the ones who studied at the same time as me. Similar to me most of them were not from Gothenburg but from other cities and they moved back or elsewhere after the program was finished. For the first year I was kept busy filming for Gizmo, but felt a bit out of place when I came back to Gothenburg after my trips since my community here was more or less split up. It took me some time to find a way to deal with this, having a lot of free time while not on trips but not being able to sign up to anything that would tie me up too much.
Although, now I feel like I have found some sort of middle way where I am studying half time courses and I have a place to go where I can work on my projects, and I feel like I found some people that I can build that community with. There is always the digital community but it is so important to interact in person with people.
Getting to know another community, in my case an art community, I have realized that it’s all the same, but perhaps carrying different issues. There is so much prestige, hierarchies and ways of being that are accepted and others that are not. Every community somehow mirrors the society at large and we need to continue working on ourselves.
Helena, since this conversation is mostly about not skating, could you talk about how you navigate having to work a day job and balancing this with going on skate tours?
Helena: I think I’ll forever (or for a long time at least) be a part-timer. I work somewhere where my personal interests lie (in gallery spaces/exhibitions in an arts centre in London) and I’m one of a few who have the same roles and work on a part-time basis. I’m asked for my availability month by month and specifically what days and times so I can pencil in, rub out and juggle everything around it all, swap and give away shifts where necessary. There’s nothing I love more than skate trips and the opportunity to travel so I prioritise those opportunities and then work around them when at home. I also work around playing gigs with the band I’m in and we all arrange practices around those gigs too.
What’s your best advice for surviving the capitalist maze we’re all part of and learning how to distinguish between society’s demand for efficiency and productivity that is so ingrained in us and actually just doing things because we enjoy doing them?
I have basically tried to navigate myself around living and working in an environment that I enjoy or one where at least I can reap the benefits to suit my outside interests and hobbies where possible. For example I worked in a cinema for a while which was not only helping pay my bills but it meant I could go to see as many films a week when and where possible! Also my current staff card gets me into a majority of exhibitions at galleries and institutions around London for free and it just so happens that skateboarding has taken me on some amazing travels too. I feel incredibly fortunate and grateful to be where I am and the opportunities I’ve been given but it comes with hard work, sacrifice and dedication that’s for sure! Just got to remember to do what keeps you happy and don’t be a slave to the system – unless it can help you get to where you want to be eventually!
“As much as it can be a saviour for escaping a certain head space, mental and physical clarity or for just pure joy, skateboarding can also be a distraction from things you may actually need to face head on.”
In these times where we are starting to grasp the importance of paying attention to mental health issues within our community what are some advice you might give when it comes to self-care and being easy on yourself?
Helena: To be honest I only really just learnt it myself, but the importance of when to say ‘no’. To look at what you want to prioritise and how you can make that happen without exhausting yourself, making time for rest and to be at ease with ‘missing out’. But also talking to people and feeling confident to confide in others about any mental health issues you may be dealing with.There’s always someone out there with open ears and arms.
Sarah: Have conversations with your skate friends about how you feel – explain why you don’t feel like skating, or you might want to come along but not skate. I have done that a bunch of times and it makes me feel more understood and still feel like I’m a part of the group even though I might be sitting down. When someone explains that they’re not feeling good today because of whatever reason I feel trusted upon and I’m more likely to deal better with the situation. If we talk to each other it’s easier to take care of each other.
Definitely. I really think communicating how we feel to our skate friends and letting go of the ‘shut up and skate’ attitude is so important. On a final note, even though I would love to keep this conversation going, how can we learn to feel better about not skateboarding?
Helena: Remember you’re only human! Everybody is different and life happens which means sometimes you can’t skate or you just don’t want to and that’s ok! As much as it can be a saviour for escaping a certain head space, mental and physical clarity or for just pure joy, skateboarding can also be a distraction from things you may actually need to face head on.
“If we’re having a coffee or are sitting in a van and the conversation switches to be about something other than skateboarding I instantly feel like I am sipping in fresh air. AHHHHH.”
Sarah: It’s funny since to most people it’s more accepted to say ”I used to skate when I was a teenager, but yeah that was a long time ago” but to us, it’s the opposite.
Everyone wants to be accepted within the community that they are in, that’s why we all wear the same pants and the same old folded up beanies. We see each other at the skateparks, we go on adventures together, the only way you get to go along if you don’t skate is if you’re a photographer or a filmer. I suppose also because it gets boring if you don’t skate when everyone else is skating. But the friendships that we build happen more in between the actual skating.
If we’re having a coffee or are sitting in a van, and the conversation switches to be about something other than skateboarding I instantly feel like I am sipping in fresh air. AHHHHH. We need to learn that it is ok, that we can still be part of the pact because we are liked as people.
