It’s been a wild three years since Brian Anderson came out as gay, making him the first out, male pro skateboarder. It was obviously a historic moment, but to me it was something more than just a “first.” It was like something snapped in our subculture. Since his announcement, it feels like we’ve all breathed a massive, collective sigh of relief, and shrugged off a lot of the toxic masculinity that’s been holding skateboarding back. It’s still a boys club, by and large, but people of all genders and sexual orientations are more free to be on a board AND be their truest selves these days. I think we can trace a good bit of that back to BA. But he’s also become, it seems, his truest self, diving deep into art, posing for Cave Homo in leather, and generally leaning into his role as a gay icon in skateboarding. And still skating hard, of course. While I’d intended this interview to be about all the cool stuff he’s doing now, not what he already did, we ended up talking a lot about what led him to come out, and what life was like before he did. Everyone has a coming out story – this issue is packed with them – but I’m glad we got to spend so much time on Brian’s. This likely isn’t as true for the queer women in this issue, but for all the men who’ve come out in skateboarding in the past three years, it’s a hugely important one.
Words/Interview: Tobias Coughlin-Bogue
Lifestyle shots: Sam McGuire
So, you’re writing a book…
I’m trying to do what is called a sample chapter. I’ve had this offer for like two years now with this publishing agency. A friend of mine recommended a ghostwriter, like: “I want you to meet my buddy who lives in Brooklyn, just ‘cause!” I went to lunch with him and he was awesome. I was like, don’t say yes right away, get to know this dude, but by the second lunch I was like, “This is my homie.”
You found your guy.
He’s straight, so I was like, “You wanna come to Fire Island with me, and I’ll be naked and you can wear board-shorts.” Because when you’re writing about the things I’ve been through in life, the things that changed my life, I’d be happy if you actually walked down through nature with me, come to Fire Island and see the gay freedom. So last summer we went, shared a room, got a little day drunk. He recorded, and I’ve been writing a lot of things from my childhood in journals, my dreams when I wake up – I’m excited to mold the sample chapter. And then we’ll give it to the publishing agency and they’ll pitch it to publishers.
Can I pause real quick and ask you about Fire Island? It seems like it’s really important in relation to your identity as a gay man.
Yeah definitely. Shortly after I met my husband Andrew, he took me to Fire Island and was like, “I just want you to see this place.” I hadn’t done the Vice piece yet. So I went out there, and oh my god I was so stressed from life in general.
“In the back of my mind I was like, ‘I know I’m gay, I can’t tell anybody this, and I’m really internally troubled.’ But going out skating and doing really gnarly stuff soothed me.”
I had hives. I wore linen long sleeves and pants because I was like, “I don’t want anyone to see BA out here.” Even though everybody already knew I was gay in the skate community.
Out in New York, at least?
Well, my teammates. And just kids, y’know, kinda knew. That’s part of the reason I did the Vice piece, so I didn’t have to get to a skatepark and see kids sort of whisper anymore.
That’s probably one of the best feelings is not having to live a double life.
I just wanted it to be done. Like, here it is, we all know now, can we just go forward? But anyway, I got to Fire Island, and we got to the guest house that we go to, which is men only and clothing optional. I wasn’t drinking and I was so stressed with the hives and everything—he was like, “I don’t want to be an enabler, but maybe you should have a wine spritzer or something.”
I love it!
I did, and then I was able to chill out by the pool naked. I’m not what people would call an exhibitionist, I feel like I’m from 1000 years ago sometimes, like I have this caveman side of me. I just enjoy having sunlight on my body, and you can go do that there. I could feel the energy of how people went there in the 50s and 60s – lawyers and doctors that had to go somewhere to hide – and were able to open their shell and be themselves.
Do you feel like Fire Island was your warmup for coming out?
Yeah, totally. I don’t want to call it a reboot, but that’s kind of the way you could describe it. Shortly after that, I went to Tampa and I was talking to Reda and I was like, “You know what dude? Screw this! I want to come out.” He was like, “I got you Brian, let’s make a doc.”I think it tripped a lot of people out who didn’t think they knew anyone who was gay.
Your favorite skater might be gay!
After that, I was like, “I just want to do this to help myself and other people.”
That’s a really interesting distinction to me actually. Like, obviously it’s good for you personally, but there’s also all the people in skateboarding you’re doing it for. Almost everyone I talk to who’s out in skateboarding, myself included, has some kind of story that involves hearing your story.
Um, 110%. When I leave my apartment and go from Queens into New York City, I make sure that I’m ready. I have to be. On the subway, random people – straight people – walk up to me, and they go: “Thank you for what you did.”
It kind of made you a celebrity.
I come home at the end of the day and I’m just, like, in tears. This is not my ego talking, this is just actual happenings.
I’m not trying to gas you up, but when your documentary came out it was really like a light switch went off. It started the ball rolling away from that weird, homophobic, rigid culture.
It kind of gave some folks a different strength. Here’s the other thing I’d love to touch on: there are TV shows now with queer characters. That was not happening obviously 10, 15, 20 years ago. Now we have Modern Family and all this stuff. There’s always going to be hate and difficulties, but because people are more exposed, some people, a certain percentage of people, are not so homophobic anymore. They’re relaxed about it.
Did that have to happen in society first, before you could do this thing in skateboarding?
Even though we said in the documentary, “If I said this 15 years ago, it would have been different”, I like to think that, even if the world hadn’t changed, at the age I got to in life, I was just like, “Life’s too short, screw this!” People need to know that we’re all different. And not every [gay person] is a pervert weirdo.
When we did the premiere of that documentary in NYC, like Bill Strobeck was telling Tyshawn [Jones] like, “Hey you should come to this thing tonight!” And he was like, “Yo, but is there like sex in it and shit?” When the credits rolled, Tyshawn was like, “Yo, respect!” and gave me a high five. Daewon Song gave me a huge hug. I was like, “Whoa, I knew this night was going to be cool, but…”
Seemed like the documentary featured a lot of stories like this, people who supported you…
Reda was like, “I’m going to interview a lot of people.” I’m like, “I thought it was just going to be me.” But he talked to all kinds of people, and that helped a lot of skaters to—ha, ha, ha—swallow it.
[Laughs] Deep.
Y’know what I mean though? When all these straight pillars in the skate community are like, “We love Brian, we always have, so fuck off. Get used to it.”
You know I have to ask about the Biebel line though.
Okay, I love talking about this.
“More pussy for me, bro.”
That got so many laughs and – check this out – Reda sent me the edit when I was on Fire Island with Andrew. Andrew was in bed and I watched it like 50 or 60 times in a row, just looking for any little thing where I could be like, “I don’t like this, take this out.”
That had to be so nerve-wracking to watch.
Not to mention the service sucks out there, so it kept conking out! But there are a lot of people that think that that’s inappropriate and uncomfortable that Biebel said that. And that was before the fuckin’ orange guy in the Oval Office…
…Trump.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it shows people that some dudes don’t understand it. Brandon being super straight and a great friend, it’s just like, “Whatever cool man, I don’t care, we’re at the bar, fuckin’ more pussy for me dude. Sick, do you your thing.”
I can see how it was kind of a model for how if you’re a super straight dude, you can be okay with this. Like, I wouldn’t say he was a good role model, but if you’re a tough skater guy…
Guess what? Some people fucking talk like that.
Everybody in that documentary was saying how they had your back 100%. Maybe they just didn’t know what terms to use.
When Mike Carroll goes, “It’s not like he’s looking at you, so everybody just calm down.”
“There’s always going to be hate and difficulties, but because people are more exposed, some people, a certain percentage of people, are not so homophobic anymore.”
I also thought that was great, because it made people like: “So that means he’s not staring at my ass at the skatepark?” No, I’m fucking looking at cops!
It’s interesting you brought those lines up because one of the things that really didn’t sit right with me was how much time was devoted to making straight skaters feel okay.
I just wanted people to understand that just because you’re gay, you’re not a full-on perv who’s checking everybody out.
But I think that’s why people were uncomfortable with it, because they felt like you were being forced to answer this ridiculous question that is asked of gay people.
I mean sure, but it’s like, “if you want to say something, all my friends are going to start World War III with you.”
So I interviewed Luke, who made the Cave Homo zine, awhile ago, and one of the things we talked about was how that photo shoot you did for his zine was like like, “Hey, look at this, I’m a gay man.” It felt like you were really exploring that side of yourself.
Totally. In a perfect world, I would not buy leather, because I’d prefer to be vegan and all that shit. But I’m into leather. I like the smell of it, I like the harnesses. I never got to explore that before. When I got with Andrew, he was like, “Yeah, buy a harness, pierce your nipples, whatever.” So when I went and did that shoot for Cave Homo, I brought all my harnesses. It fell way more into place than I thought it would.
Did you skate harder, gnarlier shit because, in the back of your brain somewhere, you were trying to be extra tough so that if people ever found out you were gay, they’d still respect you?
Yeah, I mean it’s a cliche to say that skateboarding saved my life, but to do these “gnarly” tricks or whatever, I was able to have a sense of pride when I went to sleep at night.
When in the back of my mind I was like, “I know I’m gay, I can’t tell anybody this, and I’m really internally troubled.” But going out skating and doing really gnarly stuff soothed me.
That’s what gets me stoked. Not to flatter you, but you really shattered the idea of “that’s so gay” being a bad thing. Back-smithing the UCI hubba? That was a gay man doing that. On a semi-related note: what was dating like while you were in the closet?
It was a lot of work. The thing I’m most proud of is that I never had a fake girlfriend, or “beard.”
To do that kind of performative masculinity thing?
Yeah, no way. I have eleven sisters. I would never ever disrespect a woman in that way. Just for a story? That’s wrong. But, uh, one of the things I had to do which was super annoying, and later I realized I was pretty scarred from it, was I’d have to go to the strip club. Guys would be like, “Yo, we’re all going! Grab your basketball shorts, let’s get fucking lap dances.”
Oh god.
And of course, as the gay, nice guy, the strippers come right over to you. I’m not being a creep and all that shit. They’d rub their tits in my face and be like “Hi, I’m Cinnamon!” I’d give her five bucks to be nice and then just get drunk or go back to the hotel.
But you had to go through this ritual as part of the skate tour?
It sucked. It sucked so bad. Even now, male strip clubs don’t do anything for me. Either way, that time period has kind of gone away. Now you can be a straight skater but kind of artsy and individual and dyeing your hair and stuff – people aren’t going to call you out so much.
You don’t have to be a bro to fit in. You’ve broken this boundary, you can really embrace being a gay skater, what do you want to do from here on out?
Well, um, being that I’m going to turn 43 this summer, my main thing is staying healthy, in between beers here and there. To me it’s like music, I need to put a cool single out. It’s not like I wasn’t trying, but I just had so many other things going on.
Focused on life off the board, your relationship, that domestic stuff? Tell us a bit about how you met Andrew.
It’s a funny story. I was like, “I’m going to go sing karaoke tonight by myself in a private room because I want to have fun!”
Life’s too short!
I tried go to the west side to this bar and was like “Why are the roads blocked off?” It was Pride. I didn’t even know that. So I did a U-turn and went to this other bar that I knew that was cool, and Andrew was there. We just started talking. We exchanged numbers and went from there. But I had a dream about him before I met him. Saw him in a dream.
It was meant to be! So Pride is your anniversary, kind of?
Well…
How long have you been married now?
Since after Trump was elected. We’d already fallen in love and said to each other, like, “I want to marry you someday. I just love you so much, I just want you to know that.” Then when Trump got elected we were just worried about what was going to happen to our rights. We were like, “We need to do this now before it gets taken away from us.” We just went to a place in Queens, got the license, waited the 24 hours, then on to city hall.
This is the Pride issue, so I have to ask you, what makes you most proud in skateboarding?
I’m proud of looking back on all the tours I did and signing every autograph, before the internet. What makes me most proud is the ten video parts I’ve had. I skated my ass off to get all that footage. When I look back at them all—so cocky—but I’m like, “I dare somebody to go back there and try that line.”
Another thing I wanted to ask about from the documentary was Julien Stranger promising to put you on Anti-Hero if you came out and got kicked off of Girl.
I was at a bar with Julien Stranger, I was on Girl, and I was like, “Hey Julien, I gotta tell you man, I’m gay.” He was like, “Really? Seriously? Wow! I had no idea, man. If you get kicked off Girl, I’m putting you on Anti-Hero tomorrow morning.”
That just makes me like Julien Stranger more than I already like Julien Stranger.
Yeah, and he keeps to himself and he doesn’t do a lot of interviews and stuff, but he flowed boards to this trans skater in LA recently. He’s just… he’s punk rock, man. He grew up in LA , so he always had queer people around him.
Skaters have always thought of themselves as punk rock.
“Yeah we’re punk rock.” But then you’re not accepting of queer people?
That’s why to me the most punk shit that’s going on right now is Unity and the young queer or trans skate scene. Or the women’s skate scene.
What you do in your private life is your business, but it’s like, what we’re doing right now is skating.
What was it Phelps said? “Everybody who skates hard is my friend.” It’s weird with him though, all I ever heard about Phelps was about his rougher side.
Oh, he would say faggot all the time.
You were telling me that kind of bummed you out…
We immediately got along. He was always so sweet to me and guarded me. He was a pain in the ass a lot of times. But he also had a very sensitive side that I got to see. And as with a lot of our friends that are famous, and in the public eye, when it was just me and him, he didn’t have to be “The Phelper” – he would just chill out.
He hid a softer side?
We were in China on a Nike trip, all skating this spot. I walked around the corner and found a Subway sandwich shop, and Jake was in there. I was like: “Oh what’s up Jake?” He was like: “Just gettin’ a sammy.” And then The Carpenters came on, and he grabbed my hand and he goes, “Lock the door!” As if to say, like, just absorb this beautiful song. He had this deep appreciation for music, he grew up on radio, and I thought that was just so cool that he was like, “Fuck yeah, fuckin’ Carpenters rule.” There’re so many things about him.
Jake Phelps, in a Subway in China.
I mean, are you kidding me? When you’re that creative, and you’re that in tune with so many things, it makes it really tough to go through life and have to deal with people that don’t get it. He and I loved to talk about music and stuff. He just valued the arts so much, I think. And when people come in and bring static, he’s like, “Get the fuck away from me.” And I can relate to that.
It shows that sometimes, when you get down to that personal, “you’re my teammate, you’re my friend” level, people can be good, accepting person from the get-go.
People who are successful and have their name on a board feel like they have to keep a certain persona. Before the last ten years, you know, you’d be on a ramp and someone be like:, “Fuckin’ faggot ass outfit over there.”
“It’s not like I was scared I wouldn’t sell boards. I was just like, ‘I don’t think the world is ready for this right now.’”
It’s like, you don’t have to carry yourself that way. Guess what? Your best friend, standing right next to you here, is gay. So check that shit out. But, you know, when I told Mic-e Reyes I was gay, he was like, “I will fucking kill people if they fuck with you, Brian.”
And he means it!
Oh hell yeah. Mic-e is gnarly. I’m like, “Mic, Mic, take it easy!” He was like, “No. I will fucking choke them out.”
Shit. Did everyone at Girl pass with flying colours?
Yeah they did, man. After I told the owners, click to a year later, we’re on tour in Australia, and people would decorate the van with female pornography and shit. Alex Olson and I went walking around and he was like, “Dude, let’s check out this little sex store.” So we walk in, and I find this postcard of this real bearish-looking guy and I thought, “This is so cool, this is so hot, I’m buying this.” And then I went back into the tour van and I taped it to my window, and Biebel’s like, “Fuck yeah, B! That’s your shit.” And it just turned into pure fun. We’d be at a red light, and Brandon would look at a construction site and he’d be like, “Bri, would you hit that?” [Laughs] Everyone was like, “We’re not telling anybody, but…tell us more!”
That’s hilarious. So was the fear then the kids, the customers? All the kids coming to the demos would stop coming to the demos and buying the boards?
Again, the things that have been said in all the other articles and stuff, it’s not like I was scared I wouldn’t sell boards. I was just like, “I don’t think the world is ready for this right now.” I was just getting comfortable with telling my friends. So I didn’t want to go full throttle. I didn’t want to go hardcore, all the way.
But then at some point, there’s something damaging about it being a secret? If you can’t say it, it’s something to be ashamed of.
Yeah then it was like, I wanted to share it with the world to help the world.
Because, yeah, you’re proud of it. It gets back to the basic fact of gay pride, which is that if you’re acting ashamed of it, you let people who want to make you feel like it’s shameful win.
If you’re gonna be close-minded, then good luck. Because we’re going to go forward and have fun and be friends and love each other and keep ripping it up. You can suck it.
“You can suck it.” I think you’ve found the title for your book!
