It’s been a couple years now since Sam McGuire, one of skateboarding’s most beloved photographers, came out publicly in an interview with Jenkem Magazine. From behind his camera he’s been keeping an eye on how skateboarding has developed, watching the highs and lows, ebbs and flows of a culture which has always been the go-to for outcasts. And yet, it wasn’t until his hand was forced that he could feel comfortable coming out among many people he called friends. Today, he’s a pioneering figure in skateboarding, encouraging others like him to live authentically in our culture. Dig in.
[TAKEN FROM ISSUE ONE]
How did go from that to the famous Jenkem article?
A lot of people started hitting me up about it, talking to me about, say, their cousin who is gay and struggling, or their brother/sister/friend, etc. Ian at Jenkem Magazine had been bugging me to do an interview about it for a while and I used to not really be too open to talking about it. I was all: “being gay doesn’t define me,” sorta’ thing, but getting all the support sorta’ made me think it over again.
“Fuck it – I just laid on my floor waiting to happily die and just loved myself.”
One of the only reasons I decided I could come out was because I had heard B.A. [Brian Anderson] was gay. That was 100% my comfort blanket and so I sorta thought maybe I should get over myself and my own anxieties and do this interview and hopefully pay it forward and help out another kid. We did the interview and I honestly didn’t think anything of it. I thought: ok cool, an LGTBQ+ skater some- where is going to read this and hopefully tell someone they are gay, and they are going to be happy. I was also turning 30, and I had just figured it out. All the stars were aligning. I could come out to everyone via this one email. It turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me.
What struggles did you face along the way?
As far as struggles go, a lot of it was me being scared. Classic stuff. You just get wrapped up in that fear. I was lucky in the fact that my friends and family were very supportive. Maybe I had it easier, since a lot of people would tell me that I didn’t “look gay”, but that confused me more because I was like: “is there a way I should look?”
So for better or for worse I skipped out on a lot of the bullying, or the name calling but it ended up being quite confusing, navigating where I felt comfortable in the gay world. Since I didn’t “look gay”, people would be really surprised that I was into Queer culture, or they would stare as I was dancing to a song at a Drag Show if, say, a favorite performer of mine was performing. Sometimes the people there would almost get upset, as if I was making fun of them, but I wasn’t. I absolutely adore the entire LGBTQ+ community, and I get so inspired when I see people living their true selves, being who they really are, being comfortable and just owning it. It took me quite a while to figure that out. That was a struggle, weirdly enough, just actually figuring out where you fit in in the gay world. Like I came out and then it’s like: “well fuck, how do I be gay now?”
Do you think skateboarding is becoming more or less conservative as it becomes increasingly mainstream? Why?
That’s a tough one. I’m not really sure to be honest. I’d like to say it’s gotten more liberal? Seems like people are super into the rise of womxn in skateboarding, Unity Skateboards has really gotten some popularity and shined light and support towards the Queer skate community. Brian came out and that obviously went over quite well. I mean from where I am standing, it looks like it’s getting more liberal but, then again, no one is really getting too political, you know?
What is the best and worst thing about skate culture in your view?
I think skateboarding is pretty cool right now actually. I guess the worst thing would be that it can be a bit gossipy, or a bit negative sometimes. People are reluctant to change. I heard a few people sort of bagging on body varials, but there are always going to be haters.
As for the best… I think skating is in a really cool place right now. You’ve got all sorts of great independent brands doing their thing. You’ve got Palace blowing up – they seem like they are just loving life right now. Brands like Welcome, WKND, Passport, the Dime contest in Montreal. There’s a load of weird and funny Insta clips which are popular. I don’t know. Some people are getting rich as fuck, some people are getting weird, some people are going to the Olympics. You’ve got Leo, Nora, Samarria, Alexis, Josie Lori, Beatrice Domond, that are pushing womxn skateboarding. I think that my favourite part is watching all this stuff develop. It seems like people are coming into their own. Seeing people get sober, and get healthy. Seeing Kenny Anderson go vegan. There’s just a lot of cool stuff to take in if you want to, feels like there’s a spot for everyone more than ever now.
What would you like to see change in the next ten years in skateboarding?
Good question. I think seeing some of the skate media change and develop would be cool. I hate to say this because they are the ones that hire me to do things but I would love to see magazines/online magazines develop more content that tells more stories, or tells certain stories differently. Maybe doing a bit more of the lifestyle behind skateboarding as well, getting away from the hammer centric style it can be and more into stuff that looks good, that’s just the photographer in me speaking though.
When did you first realise skate photography was a passion of yours?
Maybe sometime in college, when I was like 22 or so? I had started doing it years before, just photographing my friends, learning about equipment and the basics of photography. I wanted to do editorial/advertorial photography as I loved telling stories and I loved art, graphic design and the elements that go together for commercial photography. I think skateboarding blended the two together well so I started shooting it. I got addicted to it quick, and partially because I was skateboarding a lot at the time too.
Why skateboarding specifically?
It was fun because you didn’t know how it would end up. You didn’t know if you’d get kicked out or if it would start raining. It was a great excuse to drive five hours to try and look for something to skate and get lots of fun photos along the way. You don’t need a lot of money when your 22 so I would just float around and shoot things and try to get my photos looking like the magazines. It was a fun time, it felt good to obsess over something and then make it happen or fail and then re think it and try again the next day.
You’ve spoken about your sexuality openly in skate circles. For a long while you didn’t feel comfortable coming out in skateboarding, why was this?
This is a tough question now cause it’s been a few years since I’ve come out. Sometimes I ask myself the same question. It’s scary because skateboarding is such a tight knit little circle, and I’ve heard dudes bag on someone for the way they dress or the way they act. I just didn’t know any gay people in skateboarding, so I just had no idea how people would react. I had a few instances where I’d see gay people take something negative, and so I just sort of hid it back and honestly just thought it would go away, which was ridiculous.
How did you first decide it was time to come out?
I had broken up with a guy I’d been dating for a few years and that was pretty devastating. My life was just unraveling and I was drinking a lot and doing drugs. I was losing my mind. I’m not good at lying and it was really, really weird living this double life. On top of that, there was just this mounting fear that I was going to get caught and if I got caught there was this mounting fear that I would finally have to come out.
What changed?
I went with my ex to a football party at Davis Torgersons house and a mutual friend of ours met my ex. Only a few people knew I was gay at the time and I didn’t know that friend would be there so it was like: “uh oh, shit.” I didn’t think anything of it until that person ended up on a skate trip with a lot of skaters I’d shot with and was friends with. He ended up getting drunk and I guess saying that I was gay, which was awkward because some of the guys we were with were close friends and they were a bit bummed I hadn’t said anything.
“A lot of people would tell me that I didn’t “look gay”, but that confused me more because I was like: “is there a way I should look?”
One day Oliver Barton called me up and was dropping hints at it, then he just sort of called me out, told me what he’d heard that I was gay. We talked for an hour and I started to cry on the freeway. I mean you can’t really consider yourself a resident of LA if you haven’t cried on the freeway. At that point I figured: the jig is up. Then one night I might have accidentally taken quite a lot of a certain substance that makes you love everyone…I ended up feeling really at peace with it all. I actually thought I had overdosed but I was just content with it, it was kind of funny. I just laid on my floor waiting to happily die and just loved myself – fuck it. I think I ended up texting like 100+ people that night that I was gay.
PHOTO EDITORIAL by Sam McGuire
